A Fine Romance

A fine romance, my good fellow

You take romance, I'll take Jello

You're calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean

At least they flap their fins to express emotionA fine romance, with no quarrels

With no insults and all morals

I've never mussed a crease in your blue serge pants

I never get the chance, this, is a fine romance!A fine romance, with no kisses

A fine romance, my friend, this is

To love should have the thrills that a healthy crime has

We don't have half the thrills that the march of time hasA fine romance, with no clinches

A fine romances, with no pinches

You're just as hard to land as the Ile de France!

I haven't got a chance, My hearts not made of plastic,

You're the reason I'm sarcastic!

'Cause this is a fine, a fine romance.