Ed Maguire was climbing up the corporation ladder
Access to the pension fund made Eddie's wallet that much fatter
Old Maguire was skimming off the top for twenty years
When the FBI caught Ed red-handed he broke down in tears
Eddie said, "I'm sorry I've been stealing for long
Now get my lawyers on the phone and act like nothing's wrong"
Act like nothing's wrong, everything's just fine
Hold your head up high and act like you don't really mind
If you're terrified like me of terrorists and crime
Please take my advice and simply act like nothing's wrong
Henry Ward was drinking every night until he dropped
One by one all of Henry's best and longest friendships stopped
Henry looked around and noticed that he was all alone
No one wrote him letters, no one called him on the telephone
Henry Ward was happy that his whiskey was so strong
Wall-eyed drunk it isn't hard to act like nothing's wrong
Mary Margaret Johnson was a good old-fashioned woman
Her daughter was an angel, she never saw it coming
Mary Margaret Johnson's daughter Sally was on crack
Sally took to turning tricks to keep herself well whacked
Sally disappeared into an old sad junkie's song
Mrs. Johnson knew just what to do: act like nothing's wrong
Act like nothing's wrong, act like nothing's wrong,
Stick your chin out, just pretend you're really brave and strong
If you're terrified these days like most folks you will find
Ignorance is bliss, dig this: act like nothing's wrong
Hear and see no evildoers, act like nothing's wrong
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Lyrics submitted by Joey Maloney.