Well, I plopped down in my easy chair
And turned on Channel Two
A bad gun slinger called Salty Sam
Was a chasin' poor Sweet Sue
He trapped her in the old sawmill
And he said with an evil laugh
If you don't gimme the deed to your ranch
I'll saw you all in halfAnd then he grabbed her
(And then)
He tied her up
(And then)
He turned on the buzz saw
(And then, and then)
Eh, eh and then along came Jones tall thin Jones
Slow walking Jones
(Deep voice)
Slow talking Jones along came long lean lanky, JonesWell commercial came on
So I got up to get myself a snack
You should have seen what was going on
By the time I got back
Down in the old abandoned mine
Sweet Sue was a havin' fits
That villain said, "Gimme the deed to your ranch
Or I'll blow you all to bits"And then he grabbed her
(And then)
He tied her up
(And then)
He lit the fuse to the dynamite
(And then and then)
Eh, eh and then along came JonesWell, I got so bugged
I turned it off and turned on another show
But there was the same old
Shoot 'em up and the same old rodeo
Salty Sam was a tryin' to stuff
Sweet Sue in a burlap sack
He said, "If you don't give me the deed to your ranch
I'm gonna throw you on the railroad track"And then he grabbed her
(And then)
He tied her up
(And then)
A train started coming
(And then and then)
Eh, eh and then along came Jones