I remember sayin' I don't care either way
Just as long as he or she is healthy, I'm okay
And then the doctor pointed to the corner of the screen
And said, "You see that thing right there? Well, you know what that means"I started wondering who he was going to be
And I thought heaven help us if he's anything like meHe'll probably climb a tree too tall and ride his bike too fast
End up every summer wearin' something in a cast
He's gonna throw a ball and break some glass
In a window down the streetHe's gonna get in trouble, oh, he's gonna get in fights
I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep
It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my payback
If he's anything like meI can see him right now, knees all skinned up
With a magnifying glass tryin' to melt a Tonka truck
Won't he be a sight with his football helmet on?
That'll be his first love 'til his first love comes alongHe'll get his heart broke by the time he's in his teens
And heaven help him if he's anything like meHe'll probably stay out too late and drive his car too fast
Get a speeding ticket, he'll pay for mowing grass
He's gonna get caught skippin' class
And be grounded for a weekHe's gonna get into trouble, we're gonna get in fights
I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep
It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my payback
If he's anything like meHe's gonna love me
And hate me along the way
The years are gonna fly by
And I already dread the dayHe's gonna hug his mama, he's gonna shake my hand
He's gonna act like he can't wait to leaveBut as he drives out he'll cry his eyes out
If he's anything like me
There's worst folks to be like, oh, he'll be alright
If he's anything like me