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Army

Well I thought about the army

Dad said, "Son you're fuckin' high"

And I thought, yeah there's a first for everything

So I took my old man's adviceThree sad semesters

It was only 15 grand spent in bed

I thought about the army

I dropped out and joined a band insteadGrew a mustache and a mullet

Got a job at Chick-Fil-A

Citing artistic differences

The band broke up in MayAnd in June reformed without me

And they'd got a different name

I nuked another grandma's apple pie

And hung my head in shame, ohI've been thinkin' a lot today

I've been thinkin' a lot today

Oh, I think I'll write a screenplay

Oh, I think I'll take it to L A

Oh, I think I'll get it done yesterday, ah, shitIn this time of introspection

On the eve of my election

I say to my reflection

God please spare me more rejection'Cause my peers they criticize me

And my ex-wives all despise me

Try to put it all behind me

But my redneck past is nipping at my heelsI've been thinking a lot today

I've been thinking a lot today

I've been thinking a lot today

I thought about the army

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