She came into the shop, and said
"I want to know what the problem is."
I said "you don't want to know what the problem is."
And she said "I want to know
What the problem is
So I can get the problem fixed."
I said, "you don't want to know
What the solution to the problem is and
You don't want to know what your problem is."
She says, "how do you know that I'm not gonna like it?"
I said "I know you're not gonna like it"
So she said "Just tell me what it is and I'll tell you if I like it"
And I said, "Maybe. Maybe I'll tell you."
She said "Why won't you tell me"
I said "The problem's your ass."
She said "What?"
I said "The problem's your ass."
She said "WHAT?"
I said "The problem's your fucking ass
Your ass is all fucked up and you got problems with your ass"
She said "Why are you saying this to me?"
And I said "It's your fucking problem
You're the one with the fucked up ass."
She started to storm out so I said "Wait."
She said, "What?" I said "Wait"
She said, "What, is this about my ass?"
And I said "No. Kind of
Your ass is mad fucked up and you don't want to face the problem."
She said "What's your problem?"
I said "My problem is that you come in here
With a fucked up ass
And you don't want someone to tell you
That your ass is fucked up
I don't even know how you got to the bathroom
I don't even know how you sit on things
When you stand up, where does your ass go?
Where was your ass in the first place?
Where was your ass in 1969?
Where was your ass on 9/11?
I thought you said you'd never forget."
She said, "I'm leaving."
And I said, "Not before you get your official diagnosis
Here it is:
You're fucked up and your ass is fucked up
Are you ready for the solution?"
She said, "What."
And I said, "Here's the solution. Are you ready?"
Der Arschersetzer
I'm gonna replace your ass
I'm gonna replace your ass
I'm gonna take it off and replace it
I'm the ass replacer. (ass replacer)
Ass replacer
Ass replacer
Ass replacer
Ass replacer
Ass replacer
If you're German
Der Arschersetzer
Das ist mein
Ass replacer
Ass replacer
Ass replacer
She said, "I don't need this."
I said, "I need this, this is my job
I'm the ass replacer."
Lyrics Submitted by MeiGoat