Sunday nights that you want her like velvet cake
Sweet heart can bargain half price mistakes
She will go down with her ship like a good captain
You're sitting on the dock playing for an audience of onePacing your apartment, linoleum floors
Get a call from an old friend, she never liked him before
He will drive all over three lanes, you sit tight, shotgun
Windshield wipers waving for an audience of oneYou came out from the country wearing mama's clothes
You were born in the city with daddy's domino's
You need a record you can move to, well, we got one
Drop the needle, we are playing for an audience of one
Drop the needle, we are playing for an audience of oneOne gets all of you, two's jealous, three gets even less
Four divides you up then you're left pleasing all your guestsReach out, you point a finger and touch the globe
Spin it round and where it stops you got to pack your bags and go
Land in the Mojave desert, you sing for the sun
Three's too many when you're playing for an audience of one
Two's too busy when you're playing for an audience of one
One is the only way you're playing for an audience of one