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Barack Obama vs Mitt Romney

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

MITT ROMNEY!

VERSUS!

BARACK OBAMA!

BEGIN!Mitt Romney:

I'm not gonna let this battle be dictated by facts

I'm rich! I got fat stacks and super packs

We all know what went down in that 2008 election

You're a decent politician with a winning complexion

You're all Barack and no bite, with no change and we're all still hoping

That you'll shut your mouth, but like Guantanamo Bay they're both open

You're from the windy city, where you're looking pretty with your blowhards

But come January, you'll be left evicted and with no job

Raw rhymes stronger than my jawline when I spit a phrase

Knocking you harder than front doors in my ol' mission days

You see this silver spoon, this the mass out of debt

Took you four years to drop unemployment down below 8%!

You feel that Barry? You're old news, everyone's having doubts

And your rhymes are as weak as this economy that you've done nothing about

Call me a vicious business man cause Romney's stealing this race

I'll go Bain Capital on your donkey ass, restructure your face!Barack Obama:

They say your father was a great man, you must be what's left

Need to stop hatin' on gays, let 'em teach you how to dress

You've got the momma jeans, and a Mister Fantastic face

So rich and white it's like I'm running against a cheesecake!

Republicans need a puppet and you fit

Got their hands so far up your rear, call you Mitt!

I'm the head of state, you're like a head of cabbage

'Bout to get smacked by my stimulus package

You're a bad man with no chance, you can't even touch me

I got four more years (two terms) in the White House, just trust me

I hoped you saved your best rhymes for the second half

Cause right now, I'm 47% through kicking your ass!Mitt Romney:

Whatever, that 40% thing got you real mad

What, did it remind you how many decent parents you had?Barack Obama:

Uh, look, I respect all religions, uh, but it might get crazy

If the White House has a first, second, and a third lady!Mitt Romney:

Ha! Don't bring up wives, man! What are you doing?

You got hitched to the female version of Patrick Ewing!Barack Obama:

Uh, let me be clear, uh, don't get it twisted

We'll see how pretty your face is after my fist has kissed it.Mitt Romney:

Ahhuuhhhaa... you're a stuttering communistBarack Obama:

Oh yeah? We'll you're stupidMitt Romney:

You're stupid!Barack Obama:

Nuh-uh!Mitt Romney:

EERRGGG!Barack Obama:

EEEERRRR!CAAAWWW!Abraham Lincoln:

By the power invested in me by this giant bald bird

The President shall not be the shiniest of two turds!

You, I wanna like you, don't talk about change just do it!

I fought for what was on my brain until a bullet went through it!

And you, moneybag, you're a pancake, you flip-flop-ity

It's a country, not a company, you can played like Monopoly!

I'll properly reach across the aisle and bitch-smack you as equals!

Of the people, by the people, for the people

Eagle!CAAAWWW!WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC! (CAAWW!) RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

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