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Checkin for You (Skit)

You goin' about this aaaall wrong, son.

Look at you! [beat starts]It's Friday night, - and you just got paid,

But you done spent every dime on this hoe - tryna get laid!

But that's a weak angle! (word!) - That's what the streets made you?

A halfway trick nigga?! (maa-aan!) - Make me sick, nigga! (ha!)

Okay! - You in the spot behind that bitch liquor?

That's cool! But her friends, too? She got like six with her.

You Mr. Big Figure? (pssss!) - Man, you's a big sucka!

It's "Friday", and you spent E'RYTHING like you Chris Tucker! (hahaha!)

Let's knock the MOOOVE! - Think these ladies all on you

Cause you rockin' jewels - and you got a face like some model dude? (please!)

You beyond a fool! (look!)

Dawg, you spendin' all yo' CASH, man, they got you all gassed like rocket fuel. (ha-ha!)

But you know what? - I ain't knockin' you. (nah!)

Whores exist, - so you might score and shit. - Not impossible! (good luck!)

If that's how you want it, - then so be it. (word!)

But you spendin' gwap! - So listen, pop! - I hope you go beat it! (hope!)

You got alota talk, - know how to put it down.

But when you show yo' face, - she don't come aroouund!

She ain't checking for you! (nah!)

Listen to me, young blood, she ain't checking for you! (ha-ha!)

You like the way she walk? - Makes it worthwhile.

I'm hearin' that's yo' lady, - but when I come aroouund

She ain't checking for you! (nah!)

Listen to me, young blood, she ain't checking for you! (ha-ha!)

Fresh car wash. (uh-huh!) - You got your rims spinnin'? (yeah!)

You all set to pull over and try to get women? (oh, boy!)

You'll only get those that's whip driven;

Please! - I be big pimpin' in wrinkled white-T's and ripped linen. (look it!)

I don't need a' item for me to pipe 'em;

Homie, my talk game raw - like the meat that they feed the lion. (love!)

They can talk about how conceited I am,

But I ain't marryin' unless SHE don't want me. - Offer me a diamond! (peep, see?)

See? With you? - You gotta spend dough! (what?)

Cause you a square, - and yo' game's outdated. - You're Nintendo! (yeeaah!)

And that's a damn shame, you borrow your man's Range

To go to the club, - and spend your re-up on champagne.

Can't be serious! - Trick, you weak!

You was producin', you pro'bly show chicks your beats

Cause you a (what?!) - LAME! [echoes] - Word!

You're still spendin' gwap on that same biiiiird...

What? Your watch like four? (Uh-huh!) - Your chain like six? (why?)

Spendin' and try to score, homeboy that's priceless! (kept 'em!)

But e'rybody can't do it like this,

I keep her here with a beer. - Some of us must buy Cris'.

I got that gift, I do not act stiff!

She got her nose in the air, I tell her: "Stop that ish; "

"Please! " (naaah!) - Ain't no chick better than Joell;

But hey! - If you choose to spend cheddar, oooh, well!

What can I say? That's YOUR money!

Correction, - WAS your money, now that's that hoe's money. (told you!)

I LAUGH - from a distance cause - it's so funny.

Look at you hoppin' around, - tryna chase a snow bunny! (heeeh!)

You can't catch her cause - she already CAUGHT YA! (yup!)

Our eyes didn't have dinner, she done ate off mine for ya.

I ain't said a word; she like the way my body talk.

I'm a take her to the CRIB and change her body walk! (HMM!)

Yeah.

See? That's how you do this here.

You ol' jive turkey...

But ain't doin' it right!

You just like the rest of 'em...

You ain't like me!

I done seen 'em aaall, son!

Big... small... short and tall! [beat fades-out]

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