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Curriculum Vitae

Listen, you can't stop it, you can't escape it

You can't turn it off

So I'd appreciate your kind consideration in this matter

Sir or Ma'm, would you please turn it the fuck up? Do it

I present to you, unleashed in the east

Best dressed in the west, sorted in the north

Without a doubt in the south

The queen of queen bees, lioness of Juda

Phoenix from the ashes risen

Undefeated, undisputed featherweight champion

On all five continents

World record holder with a high score

Of two gazillion in Tetris

Two-time recipient of the Nobel Prize

For super foxiest female ever

And war time consigliore to the Cosa Nostra

She split the atom, invented the X-ray

The cure for AIDS and the surprise blindfold greeting

She performed and choreographed the fights

For Bruce Lee in 'Enter the Dragon' and 'Game of Death'

And still does stunt doubles for Jackie Chan on the weekends

She sucker punched Einstein, outsmarted Ali

And even out-super-freaked Rick James

She's the founder and CEO of Konichiwa Records

The most decorated professional field operative

In the industry and in the streets

With a perfect track record since kindergarten

Where she used to whoop schoolboy ass

She's listed in section 202

Of the United Nations Security Act of 1979 as being

Too hot to wear tight sweaters on international airspace

In this world of tension pressure and pain

She is known by men and women of all origin and faith

For her wisdom, compassion and relentless

Determination in the quest to get paid

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