Oh help me, please doctor, I'm damaged,
There's a pain where there once was a heart.
It's a beatin', It's a bleedin'. Won't you please tear it out
And preserve it right there in that jar?
Oh help me, please momma, I'm sickenin'
For today is the day of the plunge.
And the gal I'm to marry is a bow-legged sow;
I been soakin' up drink like a sponge
"Don't worry, get dressed" cried my momma
As she plied me with bourbon so sour.
"Put your suit on. Pull your socks up. Comb your long hair down
For you will be wed in the hour."
So help me, please doctor, I'm damaged,
There's a pain where there once was a heart.
It's a beatin', it's a bleedin'. Can't you please tear it out
And preserve it right there in that jar?
I was tremblin' as I put on my jacket;
It had creases as sharp as a knife.
I put the ring in my pocket but there was a note,
And my heart it jumped into my mouth
It read "Darlin' I'm sorry to hurt you,
And I don't know exactly how to say
That I'm down in Virginia with your cousin Lou.
There'll be no weddin' today."
So help me, please doctor, I'm damaged,
You can put back my heart in it's hole.
I'm cryin', dear momma, for poor cousin Lou
And my heart is now under control.
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Lyrics submitted by Daniel.