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Draft Dodger Rag

Advisory - the following lyrics contain explicit language:

I'm just a typical American boy

From a typical American town

I believe in God and Senator Dodd

And an keepin' old Castro downAnd when it came my time to serve

I knew better dead than red

But when I got to my old draft board

Buddy, this is what I saidSarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen

And I always carry a purse

I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat

My asthma's getting worseConsider my career, my sweetheart dear

My poor old invalid aunt

Besides, I ain't no fool, and I'm goin' to school

And I'm workin' in a defense plantI've got a dislocated disc and a racked up back

I'm allergic to flowers and bugs

And when the bombshell hits, I get epileptic fits

And I'm addicted to a thousand drugsI got the weakness woes, I can't touch my toes

I can hardly reach my knees

And if the enemy ever came close to me

Well, I'd probably start to sneezeSarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen

And I always carry a purse

I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat

My asthma's getting worseConsider my career, my sweetheart dear

My poor old invalid aunt

Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a goin' to school

And I'm workin' in a defense plantI hate Chou En Lai, and I hope he dies

But I think you gotta see

That if someone's gotta go over there

That someone isn't meSo, have a ball, Sarge, watch 'em fall

Yeah, kill me a thousand or so

And if you ever get a war without any gore

Well, I'll be the first to goSarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen

And I always carry a purse

I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat

My asthma's getting worseConsider my career, my sweetheart dear

I got to water my rubber tree plant

Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a goin' to school

And I'm workin' in a defense plantSarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen

And I always carry a purse

I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat

My asthma's getting worseConsider my career, my sweetheart dear

My poor old invalid aunt

Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a goin' to school

And I'm workin' in a defense plant

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