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Ed

Ed was at the end of his rope, an expression he detested

"There is no rope", he would scream at the laughing walls

There is only the end, no hope, no rope

Ending is better than mending

Doors of perception, windows of opportunity

These are illusions like the killing floorEd spoke in a squeaky whiny voice

With perhaps a slight tinge of glee

But this was only because he couldn't be bothered

To try to develop a manner of speaking

That truly reflected his moodThis is a vaccum, there is no air in this room

Despair is no fun anymore

Nihilism knocked three times on the ceiling

But the rosy fingers of dawn always inserted themselves

In the nose of unfulfilled promisesAngels sang, "Heysanna, Hosanna"

Paralyzed prima-donnas danced in the streets all day

But when the darkness came, everybody went home

I was ready, everyone else was asleepAnd while it might have been a relief to see

That I was right all along

Here I am still, alone and trapped

Awaiting the endless endAnd I can turn it all around

And laugh at it and laugh at myself

I can laugh louder than the walls, the halls, the waterfalls

Louder than Charles De Gaul or Fulton MallBut I don't know what I'm laughing at

I don't know just what I think is so goddamn funny

I don't know why I don't just shut up

And give up and lay down and die"What do I have to complain about anyway?"

Ed asked his Picasso, "I'm a millionaire"

This wasn't actually true

Ed's Picasso was an obvious forgeryHis three Rothkos had just been singled out

In an article in 'Art forum' entitled

'The Three Most Insignificant Paintings of Mark Rothko'

And his Barbara Krugers had been irreparably damaged

By Rein Sanction and a few other bands from Gainesville

That refused to acknowledge the value of art"Come to think of it", Ed mused

To the laminated roadkill coffee table that he had purchased

When times had seemed slightly less bleak

"Come to think of it, not only does art have no intrinsic value

But my collection has no extrinsic value either""I know I'm not a millionaire

But that's no reason to complain

There is no reason to complain

There is no reason to do anything""I don't believe in reason, objective reality or collective farming

I don't believe in public speaking

Which is another reason why I'm here alone

I don't believe in life or death

I would kill myself but I don't believe in suicide"Ed put on a red shirt and took a quick walk around the block

While whistling softly to himself

He reentered his apartment screaming

"There is no life on this planet""Jehovah One replaced all life with machinery five centuries ago

The so-called Industrial Revolution

Was just another hoax and we all fell for it

'Cause we were all programmed to, even I fell for it

I believe in the steam engine

Even though I don't believe in anything"Logical inconsistency is the Mr. Bubble I bathe in

Each and every evening, except for yesterday evening

When I roller bladed over to the Masonic Temple

To play pinochle with Pope John Paul the First

I really had no choice in the matter"Ed certainly could go on and on

And he did, and he would and he will

Until you or I or somebody does something about it

Senator Sterno of Louisiana

Announced over closed circuit television

And as long as he continues to pontificate pointlessly

I will do nothingEd walked away from the program feeling fortified and stapled

His brain was buzzing, the way it always did just after 'Jeopardy'

He loaded up the micro bus with atlases and poseidons

And headed for Pope County"I've had it", he sang, "I've had it with puns, alliteration

Russian literature, Italian neorealism

Meaningless cross references and laundry lists of nonsense

I shall drive without a license, without clothing, without direction""And if I make it to Arkansas, fine

And if I'm running late, if I'm running a numbers game

It doesn't matter, I shall keep on running""Yes, this is the answer, this is the ending, I shall keep on running

Because a body in motion tends to stay emotional

And it's better to feel, pain is better than emptiness

Emptiness is better than nothing, and nothing is better than this"

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