Gwar, the once mighty
Scumdogs of the universe wallow in the filth
That their lives have become
Drug addicted, riddled with disease
They're not dogs, they're just scum
Could they get a chance to change their fate
Destroy the things they've come to love with hate
Only time will tell
I'm sick of this damn planet and the sluts and the booze
I'd like to kill the Master, and start turning the screws
The sins of this planet have long since grown stale
We need to kill on a galactic scale
Forsaken by their cosmic master
Gwar constantly schemes
For a way to escape Earth, realize their twisted dreams
Old men fly into space, Gwar cannot
This re-occuring pattern of failure
Has fucked with them a lot
Get me the hell out of Dodge
I'll turn in my card at the Moose Lodge
But first let me settle my account at Blockbuster
And bid fond adieu to my friend General Custer
I scream to the heavens to split open wide
And let loose a torrent of death's ghastly tide
The power of Chaos, there's no reason why
We need a way to make everybody die
The ancient legend of, "The TimeBomb"
An alien device which supposedly chronicled
All time's events from the beginning-to the end
If it could be deciphed by our bum, bling anti-heroes
Then the end of the world would come
As to what this has to do with anything, I'm not really sure
Out there the power is growing and it's growing fast
Here the only thing growing is my big fat ass
Sales are dropping, riffs are slopping
Can you smell the zits I'm popping
What the hell can we do? We've done it all
I've humped god's nose, I've reeked of booze
I've canceled shows
Became everything that I despised and my own hell I recognize
But there's just so many little bohabs
And they're always crowding around begging me to suckle them
And tie their mothers down, I will kill their girlfriends
I will smoke their crack I become the pimp-daddy
I become the Mack but everyday I'm doing I'm dying deep inside
But I'm gonna tell ya something gonna give you back your pride
So here's a little thought that I had the other day
If we could blow the planet up we could just float away