Everytime I clean my room, I make another mess
Everytime I miss the bus, I'm late for a test
Everytime I'm re-incarnated, it's in the lowest form
I leave my window open every time there is a storm
Everytime I have a hangover, I have to go to work
Everytime I masturbate dry it tends to hurt
Everytime I pat a dog he bites me on the hand
Everytime I talk to aliens, they don't understand
Everytime I skate, I get another bruise
Everytime I get drunk, I vomit on my shoes
Everytime I scratch, the needle jumps
Everytime I drink milk, it comes out in lumps
Everytime I freestyle, I just talk shit
Everytime I catch the bus, there is nowhere to sit
Everytime I catch a train, Im hassled for a ticket
Everytime I bat in cricket, 1st ball takes a wicket
Everytime I'm drunk at a party in a toga, I pull a damn hamstring to prove I do yoga
Everytime I eat, I get a pain in my chest
Everytime I thinks it's heartburn, it's cardiac arrest
Everytime I make a call, call waiting interrupts
Everytime I dump a load at someone's house, it won't flush
Everytime it won't flush, it stains the ceramic
If you ever see me happy it because I'm manicDoomed to fail
*It's not easy being me
Doomed to fail
*It's not easy being meEverytime I give advice, it comes out wrong
Everytime I get raided, my prints are on the bong
Everytime I score, I get shitty leaf
I was living with the navajo until they heard me dis the cheif.
Cause everytime we'd smoke a joint, Id end up with the roach
Everytime I skip sport, I get drilled by the coach
But every time I play footy, I get tackled in the dirt
I crack another rib and it really fuckin hurts
Everytime I brush my teeth, I find another cavity
Everytime I try to fly, I discover gravity
Everytime I have a craving, I run out of food
Everytime we spin the bottle, I'm the 1 who ends up nude
Everytime I give a girl an orgasm, she fakes
Everytime I jam it in, the condom breaks
Everytime I gamble, I lose all my chips
Everytime I eat all bran, I get the shits
But everytime I shit, it takes about an hour
And there's never any paper so I have to have a shower
But everytime I shower the towel is already wet
And it's not wet with water but wet with cum and sweat
Everytime I pluck my pubic hairs to make myself attractive
My dick gets sore and I fuck like a spastic
Everytime I write a song, radio stations ban it
Cause when you play my records in reverse they're satanic
Worship Satan,
Worship Satan,
Worship Satan,
Worship Satan,
Worship Satan,
Worship Satan,
Worship Satan,
Worship Satan,Everytime I make a joke, people take me serious
Everytime I go down on a girl, she's on her period
Everytime I drive a car, a cop will pull me over
But I'll say I'm someone else and that I'm sober
Every blind date turns out to be blind
My looks are all I have and that is why I mind
Everytime I have a dream, I'm at the school dance
Everyone is looking at me cause I don't have any pants
Everytime we play piggy in the middle, I'm the pig
Everytime we play tiggy, I'm the 1 who's it
Everytime I lick toad, I get warts on my tongue
Everytime I see a killer bee, It's when im getting stung
Everytime I play scrabble, I make the word "AT"
Every wet fart, leaves a stain where I sat
Everytime I fuck your mum, she wants it in the bum
And everytime I'm done, it's not because I've come
Everytime I crack onto a chick i pull my sack out
Everytime I try to suck my dick, I put my back out
Everytime I catch a wave, I hit a coral reef
And everytime I order vegetarian, I get beefDoomed to fail
I Get Beef
Doomed to fail
Chicken's not a vegetable
Doomed to fail
I Get Beef
Doomed to fail
Chicken's not a vegetable