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Fight the One-Armed Man

Get on up on that parachute tower

Pull away that skin

Fight the one-armed man

Before your future goes sour

Kick him in the shin

Fight the one-armed man

and win

The stripper wears a peace sign

Her boyfriend has a gun

And you walk around

with your pants pulled down

and a condom on your tongue

Can everybody see the exits?

The poetry you read

is under your seat

You're gonna kill my crops

You'll never get to heaven

if you bust my chops

Stars are the cover

as you sit and suffer

in your private nightmare

The string you stole

between the carrot and the pole

ties the ponytail in your hair

The stripper's got her body paint on

The nourishment she needs

is under your belt

You're gonna change my shape

You're stepping on my cape

I'm running through the bushes

but I never will escape

Seven miles below me

twenty miles away

the sounds that you hear

before you start dreaming

Right there beside you

sitting on your face

the man I keep running from

day after day

It's a Jeroboam of Mylanta

with love from Mom

and your secret Santa

You got egg on your face

you big disgrace

Your stomach will remember

what your conscience can't erase

Lyrics Submitted by Richard Gagnon

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