To the naked eye you're absolutely peerless;
You're brainy, brawny, fearless
and you know what you're about.
And I tell myself you're such a manly specimen,
no matter what I mess I'm in
you'll surely get me out.
But would you?
Or have I misunderstood you?
When I'm in a crisis
and I ask what your advice is,
do you know what you'd answer?
Do you know what you'd do?
The scene is darkest Africa. The water's nice and hot.
The cannibals have got me salt-and-peppered for the pot.
Then you come running to the fray
and this what what you'd say,
'But dearest, cannibals have rights just like other people.'
That's what you'd do! That's exactly what you'd do!
Where is the beast in you?
A pair of savage bloodhounds are a-thirsting for the kill.
If one dog fails to eat me up the other surely will.
They're gaining fast with open jaws.
You enter and we pause,
'Darling, what did you do to provoke those dogs?'
That's what you'd do! That is exactly what you'd do!
Where is the beast in you?
I don't ask for a high-minded hero
as fair and understanding as can be;
always ready to pursue
the other fella's point of view;
always searching for truth to make us free!
He's a liberal – well, dandy!
It's just that I demand he be
a narrow-minded, small-horizoned,
partisan, opinionated,
bigoted, reactionary mule
when it comes to me.
I'm huddled on the doorstep and I cannot pay the rent.
The landlord with a moustache is an evil, leering gent.
Then through the blinding snow you come to tell your little chum,
'Tenants never do understand these things. It takes money to run an apartment.'
That's what you'd do! That is exactly what you'd do!
Where, o where, is the beast in you!?
Lyrics Submitted by cjtg2018