I remember when we walked as one
And all the truths were known
And we were scrappers in the
Schoolyard fights, talked tough on the telephoneBut there was always one big guy
Who feared nothing and no one
His name was Gary and he looked
So mean, he wasn't a lot of funWhen he walked by, you got the fuck
Out of the way, now Gary was the
Schoolyard bully, didn't have a lot of friends
He had kids do his homework for him, stupid 'til the endOn graduation day he stood the tallest
And he got his degree, he couldn't add
Two plus two, let loose on society
When he walked by, you got the fuck out of the wayGary was the top cat in his day
Everybody said that he'd get his someday
And I swear to this day that I still see his face
When I have a bad dream at night
He's the monster to my rightNow gruesome Gary met his
Match at a young and tender age
He got a whipping at the mall one night
And the police took him awayThe town cheered and the geeks
All jeered but I'll just make a bet
Gary will live on in infamy
He was the meanest guy you ever met