Hello Muddah, hello Fadduh,
Here I am at, Camp Granada.
Camp is very, entertaining,
And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining.
I went hiking, with Joe Spivy.
He developed, poison ivy.
You remember, Leonard Skinner,
He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner.
All the counselors, hate the waiters,
And the lake has, alligators,
And the head coach, wants no sissies,
So he reads to us from something called Ulysses.
Now I don't want, this should scare ya,
But my bunkmate, has Malaria.
You remember, Jeffrey Hardy,
They're about to organize a searching party.
Take me home, oh Muddah Fadduh, take me home, I hate Granada,
Don't leave me, out in the forest where, I might, get eaten by a bear.
Take me home, I promise I will not make noise, or mess the house with other boys, oh please don't make me stay, I've been here one whole day.
Dearest Fadduh, darling Muddah,
How's my precious, little Bruddah?
Let me come home, if you miss me,
I will even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me.
Wait a minute, it stopped hailing,
Guys are swimming, guys are sailing,
Playing baseball, gee that's better,
Muddah Fadduh kindly disregard this letter.
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Lyrics submitted by Josh.