Hello Sir, remember me?
I'm the man you thought I'd never be
The boy who you reduced to tears
The lad called 'Thingy' for six whole yearsYeah, that's right, my name's Bob
The one who landed the pop star's job
The one who you told, "Look don't touch"
The kid who wouldn't amount to muchWell, I'm here and you're still there
With your fake sport scar and receding hair
Dodgy Farah trousers that you think are smart
Married to the woman that teaches artMarried to the life, married to the school
I want to sing and dance sir, now who's the fool?
Sing and dance, you thought I was balmy
Settle down thingy, join the armyAnd who are you to tell me this?
The dream I want I'll have to miss
Sir, it's God, he's been given the right
To structure lives overnightNow I know life's true path
Tanks and guns, that'll be a laugh
No, not me, I'm a mega civilian
I won't lead my life riding pillionBut thanks for the advice and I'm sure it'll do
For the negative dick heads just like you
As for now, I've a different weapon
Stage and screen are about to beckonAnd here I sit in first class
Bollocks sir, kiss my ass