The High Plains Drifter, and I'm the drifter
('Cause I'm a High Plains Drifter, drifter)
The High Plains Drifter, and I'm the drifter
('Cause I'm a High Plains Drifter, drifter)
They can't catch me they're never gonna find me
('Cause I'm a High Plains Drifter, drifter)
They're never gonna know that I'm the High Plains DrifterPulled over to the river to take a rest
Pulled out a pair of pliers, pulled the bullet out of my chest
Fear and loathing across the country listening to my 8 track
I reached behind the seat and snatched a Kool from the packA long distance from my girl, and I'm talking on the cellular
She said that she was sorry and I said "yeah, the hell you were"
Check my rear view mirror, check the gold tooth display
Check out the odometer and I was on my way'Cause I'm the High Plains Drifter, the best that you can get
A strapped shoplifter, a pirate on cassette
('Cause I'm a High Plains Drifter, drifter)
Bust a Travis Bickle when I feel that I'm getting pushed
Don't step to me or you're gonna get mushed
('Cause I'm a High Plains Drifter, drifter)I'm doing 120 plowing over mail boxes
Radar detector to tell me where the cops is
Spend another night at the Motel 6
It's five dollars extra get the porno flicksAnd then I concoct a Black and Tan in my brandy snifter
I'm a kleptomaniac, K-Mart shoplifter
Cash flow getting low so I had to pull a job
I found a nice place to visit but a better place to robI left my car outside, and the engine still revvin'
Taking care of business at 7-eleven
And then I went inside to make my withdrawal
I saw what he had had, but I had to take it allKnucklehead deli tried to gyp me on the price
So I clocked him off the turban with a bag of ice
Cause I'm mell-el-o like jell-el-o, cool like lemonade
I made my getaway and then I thought that I had it madeI feel like Steve McQueen, a former movie star
Look in my rearview mirror seen a police carBallantine quarts with the puzzle on the cap
I couldn't help to notice I was caught in a speed trap
Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry, on the run from Dirty Harry
Stash the cash in the dash, but my gun I did carryI'm seeing blue and red flashing deep in the night
I got my alibi straight and I pulled over to the right
The cop knocked on my window, said "Boy, where's the fire?
You've got a mailbox on your bumper and a bald front tire""Outta the car longhair, your goose is cooked"
Read me my rights, fingerprinted, and bookedMakin' like a D.T. driving a Gran Fury
Wherever I hang my hat's my home and my past is kind of blurry
('Cause I'm a High Plains Drifter, drifter)
Every dog will have its day, mine will be in front of a jury
I'm the High Plains Drifter you know that I'm never in a hurry
('Cause I'm a High Plains Drifter, drifter)Read me my rights, as if I didn't know this
Threw me in the tank with a drunk called Otis
With his five o' clock shadow, he smelled of three day old beer
My man turned to me and said "Why are you here"?I said I'm charming, I'm dashing, I'm rental car bashing
I'm phony paper passing at Nix Check CashingI went before the judge he sent me to the Brooklyn House of D
He said "You behave son or we'll throw away the key"
Houdini'd out the cuffs, I kicked the screw in the knee
I took the bailiff's wallet and went straight to OTBI had a good feeling, easy come, easy go
I bet on one horse to win and another to show
And sure enough that nag came in
Brought my ticket to the window and collected my winAnd then I broke into my new car with a wire coat hanger
Hot wired, hot wheeled, and Suzy is a headbanger