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I Heard Jesus Was

I heard Jesus was a cool lad

A peace and love kind of guy, it's said

He smelled of BO and of weed

A smell that could have raised the deadHe had twelve merry drinking pals

Who loved a late boozy repast

But every morning, quite hung over

They swore this supper would be their lastMy God, Old man!

Oh why have you forsaken me?

We hoped to party until dawn

But we're out of beer and it's only three!He and his buddies crashed a wedding

Where all they served was water warm and stale

Jesus winked at the bride and the groom

And turned the water into aleMy God, Old man!

Am I really your true son?

Cause you seem to me a bit stern

And I mighty like to have some fun...Sanitas Bona!

Sanitas Bona!His hot girlfriend was an ex-whore

Who warmed the bed of many men in need

She never caught anything itchy at her job

And that was a miracle indeedMy God, Old man!

I read the jobs you had for me

And I could not help wondering

Can I really walk upon the sea?Because I'd like to spread

The good news of brew the world around

And it looks to me a whole lot cheaper

Than renting a boat for a bag of pounds

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