If I

If I hadn't been a quiet introspective kid

If I hadn't been a nerd, wouldn't have met with him

If we hadn't observed we'd be the best of friends

That preferred the spoken word to the toke and bingeIf momma hadn't died when I was young

Would me and sis been so tight from jump?

If dad hadn't lost his mind to a disease

Would I be up here askin' ya'll to notice me?In the dark times, didn't know where the path went

I was close to the edge like Grand Master Flash said

It was hands of my friends that held me back

Yes, without them I'd MJ keep slidin' backwardsOr be a hypocrite like some others have been

If that and the other hadn't happened

Don't know that I'd ever been Brer Rabbit

Askin' how many if's between hero and has-been?If I, if I, if I had only known

That I would be a lamb to the slaughter

Now I know

If I, if I, if I had only known

I know, I bet it only makes me strongerNow I know, now I know

Now I know, know, know

Now I know, now I know

Now I know, know, knowIf I hadn't grown up in the 80's

Experiencing the various things that made me

Would I still be standing center stage

Trying to innovate new ways to demonstrate?If mommy-daddy hadn't turned off Mork and Mindy

To inform us divorce was pending

Would him and me have spent these 23 years in a frenzy

Moving back and forth with such forceful energy?I remember when I was a little baby

Lying there alone on my pillow casing

Upset already I could feel the aging

The urge to return was debilitatingAnd maybe I'm still afraid and need to

Cry a little harder for the world of play things

Stop looking back on these silly day dreams

Sing along with me if you feel the same wayIf I, if I, if I had only known

That I would be a lamb to the slaughter

Now I know

If I, if I, if I had only known

I know, I bet it only makes me strongerNow I know, now I know

Now I know, know, know

Now I know, now I know

Now I know, know, knowIf I had known what awaited was unplanned

If I had known the blade was in a loved one's hand

If I had known of the possible injury

If I had known the altar was meant for meBut now I know nobody can predict events

And now I know there's cracks in the picket fence

Now I know that something else exists

And now I know a life can be built from thisIf I had known emotions would still remain

If I had known that time wouldn't heal the pain

If I had known the intent of the injury

If I had known the altar wasn't meant for meNow I know there's treasure hidden in these scars

Now I know there's presence in an empty yard

Now I know what it took for me to survive

But now I know where to go to become aliveIf I, if I, if I had only known

That I would be a lamb to the slaughter

Now I know

If I, if I, if I had only known

I know, I bet it only makes me strongerNow I know, now I know

Now I know, know, know

Now I know, now I know

Now I know, know, know