[Intro]
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
GORDON RAMSAY!
VERSUS!
JULIA CHILD!
BEGIN!James Bond (Daniel Craig):
I've beefed with Le Chiffre and No and Blofeld with the cheek scar
but they were not as crooked and rotten as your teeth are
I'll go balls to the Walther on this wack twat in an ascot
blast shot atcha like gas from the back slot of a fat Scot
permission from the Crown to put a scoundrel down? I've earned it
I'm licensed to kill you couldn't get a learner's permit
after twenty-four films I'm still reaching new heights
your third movie died guess You Only Lived Twice
spell my name!
the ladies wanna B on D any sex appeal you might have is beyond me
I'm bespoke from my head to my toe after this flow I'm done
I only need one round, Golden gun.Austin Powers:
You look a lot more blond in your movie baby
that's alright let's just keep it groovy baby
YEAH!
Basil Exposition told me this would be boring
but Jesus man even my mojo's snoring
I've never seen such a miserable spy
I've also never seen a man with glistening thighs
I mean you can't shag properly with that wax tush
birds flock to the musk of my chest bush
YEAH!
I'll hypnotize you with a little strip tease
and then a judo chop I'm swinging on you like the sixties
YEAH!
you're defenseless my rhymes can't be deflected
you're like all the sex I've ever had unprotected
YEAH!
People want a hero with a little personality
no one wants to sit through your gritty reality
maybe Q can craft some new plot lines
you made Thunderball two bloody times
I'm one of a kind
you're always getting remade
you can't touch me
double oh behave.James Bond (Daniel Craig):
Ugh, I can't believe i'm wasting my time with this clown
I should be on an island with a fucking model by now
sipping dry martinis and peeling off bikinis
not rapping against Swedish penis pumping weenies!Austin Powers:
Uh that's not my-James Bond (Daniel Craig):
I didn't say i was finished
I'm sick of your silly gimmicks
I'm the best spy in the business just ask all the critics
and I've been through hell so yeah I'm a bit of a cynic
but I'm the original model that your frilly ass mimics.James Bond (Sean Connery):
I wouldn't exactly call you original
it's the most prominent dominant bomb spy so pay homage
handing out ass whippings
I'm on some real James Bondage
your performance doesn't stir me
and I'm certainly not shaken
if I wanted shitting acting in my action film
I'd go and watch Taken
I see your modern gadgets
and I pissed on them all
I don't need a Q
To break your balls
I'm the grand dad of the brand millions of fan have been sold on
you're so far up on my nuts I should call you bond, Gold bond.Austin Powers:
Yeah, um can i get back in my rap please?James Bond (Sean Connery):
Rap these you velvety hack!Austin Powers:
Jeez!James Bond (Daniel Craig):
It's the movie business and you've had your six
the world has had quite enough rug wearing misogynists.Austin Powers:
Yeah to be honest you are a bit rapey
I mean I like to swing but Dr.No means no baby.James Bond (Sean Connery):
Oh please I'm an extraordinary gentlemen
I'm distinguished if they made a Mini-Me they'd have to cast Peter Dinklage.James Bond (Daniel Craig)
Or maybe they should cast a Bond who's actually English.James Bond (Sean Connery):
Why pussy aren't you the cunning linguist.James Bond (Daniel Craig):
As a matter of fact I've got a knack for licking old cunts
after I beat you I'll kick the shit out of the man who does your stunts!James Bond (Sean Connery):
Now you listen here you little duck face runt!
I'm all in, I'm ready to die any day that you want!