Jesus the missing yearsIt was raining, it was cold
West Bethlehem was
No place for a twelve year oldSo he packed his bags and he headed out
To find out what the world's about
He went to France, he went to Spain
He found love, he found painHe found stores so he started to shop
He had no money
So he got in trouble with a copKids in trouble with the cops
From Israel didn't have no home
So he cut his hair and moved to Rome
It was there, he met his Irish brideAnd they rented a flat
On the lower east side of Rome, Italy that is
Music publishers, book binders, Bible belters, Money Changers
Spoon Benders and lots of pretty Italian chicksCharley bought some popcorn, Billy bought a car
Someone almost bought the farm but they didn't go that far
And things shut down at midnight, at least 'round here they do
'Cause we all reside down the block inside 23 SkidooWine was flowing so were beers so Jesus found his missing years
He went to a dance and said "This don't move me"
So he hiked up his pants and he went to a movieOn his thirteenth birthday, he saw 'Rebel Without A Cause'
He went straight on home and invented Santa Claus
Who gave him a gift and he responded in kind
He gave the gift of love, went out of his mindYou see, him and the wife wasn't getting along
So he took out his guitar and he wrote a song
Called 'The Dove Of Love Fell Off The Perch'
But he couldn't get divorced in the Catholic ChurchAt least not back then, anyhow
Jesus was a good guy, he didn't need this shit
So he took a pill with a bag of peanuts and
A Coca-Cola and he swallowed itHe discovered the Beatles, he recorded with the Stones
Once he even opened up a three-way package
In Southern California for old George JonesAnd Charley bought some popcorn, Billy bought a car
Someone almost bought the farm but they didn't go that far
And things shut down at midnight, at least 'round here they do
'Cause we all reside down the block inside 23 SkidooThe years went by like sweet little days
With babies crying pork chops and Beaujolais
When he woke up, he was seventeen
The world was angry, the world was meanWhy the man down the street, the kid on the stoop
All agreed that life's stank, all the world smelled like poop?
Baby poop that is, the worst kindSo he grew his hair long, threw away his comb
Headed back to Jerusalem to find Mom, Dad and home
But when he got there the cupboard was bare
Except for an old black man with a fishing rodHe said "What you gonna be when you grow up?"
Jesus said, "God"
Oh my God, what have I gotten myself into?
I'm a human corkscrew, all my wine is blood
They're gonna kill me, Mama, they don't like me, BudSo Jesus went to Heaven, he went there awful quick
All them people killed him, they weren't even sick
So, come and gather around me, my contemporary peers
And I'll tell you all the story of Jesus the missing yearsCharley bought some popcorn and Billy bought a car
Someone almost bought the farm but they didn't go that far
And things shut down at midnight, at least 'round here they do
'Cause we all reside down the block inside at 23 Skidoo
We all reside down the block inside at 23 Skidoo