Johnny's joined a ceilidh band,
They're known quite well throughout the land, The Drones
The Drones are signed up on a cruise
While Tracey's laying in the booze back home
She's got herself another man, a smoothie
While the kids are in the front room watching movies
She's got him in a head lock, in an arm lock, in a jam
She says, I can't express myself with my old manWhile Johnny's Far away on the Rolling, Rolling
Johnny's Far Away On The Rolling SeaJohnny's cruising out to sea
And he believes in chastity - for some
The wealthy widows bill and coo
He fends off one or two, and then succumbs
As they're turning hard-a-port in the Bahamas
He's turning her right out of her pyjamas
He's turned her every which way to the rhythm of the sea
He says, I can't express myself with my old ladyWhile Johnny's Far away on the Rolling, Rolling
Johnny's Far Away On The Rolling SeaJohnny's home, he opens up his door
While someone's sneaking out the back
And Tracey says, you look so poorly
Sores and all, you need to see the quack
She wipes the snot from off the kiddies' noses
He charms her with eleven battered roses
And by and by they get down to the job of man and wife
Back to the old comforts of the missionary lifeWhile Johnny's Far away on the Rolling, Rolling
Johnny's Far Away On The Rolling Sea