I was the kind of kid back in school
Who wore a 'Members Only' jacket and said it was cool
That's when I met Katrina, she was best friends with Seshel
I thought she was the one, yeah, I thought that she was specialI saw her in the hall about a quarter to three
I said, I'll take you in my Nova to the Tasty Freeze
She said, I know all about you, more than I should
I know all about your dirty mags you keep in the woodSo tell me, how I'm supposed to be
When I've been stalked by a lesbian?
I can't sleep a wink
And I'm married to the ephedrineHow am I supposed to sleep
When I've been stalked by a lesbian now?
Stalked by a lesbian nowNow don't take it light, it might seem funny to you
Yesterday my science project was covered in glue
So I asked that guy Seshel, I said, Was it something I said?
He said, Quit being so fucking paranoid, it's all in your headThe way she's looking at me, I think she wants me to be
The guy that always gets shot in every movie you see
Oh God, she's walking this way, oh God, what could I say?
And I hope and I pray that one day she's gonna be straightSo tell me, how I'm supposed to be
When I've been stalked by a lesbian?
I can't sleep a wink
And I'm married to the ephedrineHow am I supposed to sleep
When I've been stalked by a lesbian now?
Stalked by a lesbian now
Stalked by a lesbian nowSo I was at a bar the other night and I looked across the room
And there's this girl and she walks up to me
She's beautiful and she says
Hey, I'm Katrina, dude, remember me?And I freaked, I said, Oh my God, I thought you looked familiar
About this time, this 400 fucking pound woman walks up
With Katrina's face tattooed on the side of her neck
She comes waddling up and says, Don't fuck with my girlI looked at Jabba straight in the fucking eye and I say
Don't worry, every time I picture Katrina's face
It's gonna be on the side of your gross, fat-assed, 3 chinned neck
She says, Are you stupid?, I say, "No, I'm just soberSo tell me, how I'm supposed to be
When I've been stalked by a lesbian?
I can't sleep a wink
And I'm married to the ephedrineHow am I supposed to sleep
When I've been stalked by a lesbian now?
Stalked by a lesbian now
Stalked by a lesbian nowI hope she beat the shit outta you, you homophobic