Oh Elliot Plum, the hard earnest one of all of my good friends
Had a wife named Marguerite who loved him for pretend
Nevermind how the story starts
I’ll tell you how this ends
He’d step out to the back she put her lipstick on my neck
Oh Madame Plum
Man I hate to have to eat and run
But your husband and the Mossberg pump got me on their minds
Oh Madame Plum
Man I hate to have to ruin the fun
But your husband and the Mossberg pump got me on their minds
She got ‘em good like I knew she would then weeks had come to pass
My old intrepid tendencies found a tavern off the map
Petrified I called a quarter ride it was Marguerite at last
She grabbed a rounded taste then wrapped her legs around my waist
Oh Madame Plum
Man I hate to have to eat and run
But your husband and the Mossberg pump got me on their minds
Oh Madame Plum
Man I hate to have to ruin the fun
But your husband and the Mossberg pump got me on their minds
Oooooh oh Madame Plum
You done us both so wrong
I been running for too long
And quite frankly, I’m tired
Oh, Madam Plum
I think I hear Elliot now
And this time I’ma stand my ground
I swear by it
Oh! Elliot Plum!
Of all my friends you were the best,
But if you take one more step,
Its certain death!
Oh, now see,
Guess that’s the way it had to be
All thanks to Marguerite
Ooooooh, Madame Plum
Man I hate to have to eat and run
But your husband and the Mossberg pump had me on their minds
Oh Madame Plum
Man I hate to have to ruin the fun
But your husband and the Mossberg pump had me on the ruuun
Oh Madame Plum
Man I hate ‘cha made me do what I done
Now your husband in an ‘ol pine box gots em on the ground
Oh Madame Plum
Now I’m truly out here on the run
Because these sorries and these canines cryin got my scents and gun
Lyrics Submitted by Alissa Tiffin