Mash

Mash! (Mash Mash Mash Mash)

Oh it is ready in a flash (Flash flash flash flash)

Just peel, and chop, and boil

No there's no need for any oil

so put the extra virgin down; believe me this is no hash brown.

It's Mash! (Mash mash mash mash)

A wondrous way to spend your cash (cash cash cash cash)

If you're feeling flush and posh

then use a parsnip, pumpkin, swede or squash.

Though frozen mash is cheap, you'll find

it tastes a bit like people's feet.

It's Mash! (Mash mash mash mash)

And you can rub it on a rash (rash rash rash rash)

Don't tell the family doctor.

Or he will mock 'ya. He'll say:

"Potatoes on the NHS will only cause a Tory stress!"

It's Mash! (Mash mash mash mash)

Don't get it stuck in your moustache (Tache tache tache tache)

I know it sounds a little weird, but

I have seen a spud-filled beard

And every orphan in the town

would smack his lips and wolf it down

and though they gave the man a crown

he changed his ways and made them drown in

Mash mash mash mash Mash mash mash Mash Mash!