Mr. Function

The functional member of society

Fixes dysfunctions

Fixed my car

Fixed my art

Fixed the price

Fixed my vice

Made me a functional member of societyMake me function, so functionalThe functional member of sobriety

Fixed me a drink

A shot of methadone

So I won't think

A low tar cigarette

To cut down the threat

Of making me

A functional member of sobrietyMr. Function, what's your gumption

Spreading the word of conditioned corruption

Mr. Function, a revolution is beginning to form

At the D.C. junctionThe functional member of hilarity

Is on the TV

Now I can sit at home

And be told how to be

How to wear my coat

How to righteously vote

Ain't gonna be a functional member

Of hilarityNobody gonna pull me down

Nobody gonna push me around

Nobody gonna push me