Tell us once again this morning
Old friend how did you win the war
Everybody loves a hero
It don't matter if they've heard the tale beforeAnd tell us of the time
When almost everybody knew you were a star
And how intelligent you are
Prove that you're alive Mr. Shuck and JiveYou can tell us of the man
Who stole your fortune and nearly ruined your life
Or better still, the one about the TV
And the couch and your best friend's wifeTell us of grand projects never finished
With somebody else to blame
And all the reasons that your fame
Just never did arrive, Mr. Shuck and JiveIf you can get yourself together
Kindly write a criticism of this song
How it's exquisitely constructed
And yet mechanical and somehow slightly wrongAnd you can put it in your book
About the enemy you never even met
You know you just might make it yet
But somehow you'll survive Mr. Shuck and Jive