From Monday to Wednesday, its business as usual
So what’s so unusual about my sweet dear
She’s altered, she’s different, she’s just so spectacular
She’s what we got wed for, she’s clean and she’s clear
Cos Henrietta’s just had the good sense
To write them a letter in which they’re advised
That Henrietta has made a decision
From this day forward, my darling’s downsized.
Just last Wednesday evening, she kicked off her work shoes
I pour her a large one and I tell you no lies
She swigs and she shimmies, and looks to the bedroom
Then she looks at me with those great big beautiful, downsize eyes.
Prechorus
Now the sun in the morning somehow seems brighter,
oh and everything’s righter than it was before;
Oh the coffee is richer, the eggs over easier;
The breeze is just breezier, there’s cuddles galore
She bakes us some rock cakes, I lay us a fire
I light the touch paper, oh but I don’t retire
Cos my love for her cannot be overstated
Its deep and its not final salary related
Because Henrietta’s just had the good sense
To write them a letter in which they’re advised
That Henrietta has made a decision
From this day forward, my darling’s downsized.
The allotment society application she’s made
She’s put our names forward and she’s bought me a spade
When old father summertime raises his head
We’ll be up there to prepare our celeriac bed
Prechorus
Oh I’ll dig us a trench then I’ll join her in sitting
Up close on the bench and we’ll watch the spuds
Cheating ......
Then I’ll pinch out some carrots, she’ll squish some black flies
And she’ll look at me with those great big beautiful downsize eyes.
Cos Henrietta’s just had the good sense
To write them a letter in which they’re advised
That Henrietta has made her decision
From this day forward, the love of my life
Oh my friend and my companion
my darling’s downsized.
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Lyrics submitted by Chris Suddes.