Nan You're a Window Shopper

The bottom feels so much better than the top

So much better, ha haNan youre a window shopper

Taking a look but you never buy

Nan youre a window shopper

You won't pick it up if it's over a fiveNan youre a window shopper

Get on the bus coz you still can't drive

Nan youre a window shopper

Mad as f*** only just aliveYou get up in the morning and you like your tea milky

You fumble for your glasses coz without 'em you can't see

It's funny how I come around your house and I'm 20

And I still have to wear all the presents you sent meI walk into your kitchen everythings got a label

You done your Christmas shopping and we're only in April

And you won't leave your house unless you're wearing your thermals

You're covered all in cat hair and you're stinking like StrepsilsYou're heading down the Bowls Club

Have another orange squash

Bowls are rollin' rollin' rollin'

You can't walk right coz things arent what they were

Your ankles are swollen swollen swollenNan youre a window shopper

Taking a look but you never buy

Nan youre a window shopper

You won't pick it up if it's over a fiveNan youre a window shopper

Get on the bus coz you still can't drive

Nan youre a window shopper

Mad as f*** only just aliveYou're walking down the post office to pick up your pension

And then your off to Bingo, it's become an obsession

So wary of the kids when they're wearin' their hoods up

And even if they smile at you, you think its a stick upYou only buy the paper just to cut out the coupons

You're saving 50p but what do you want with tampons?

You're always at the doctor picking up your prescription

And they throw in some K-Y just to ease up the frictionYou got a leak in your colostomy bag

Yeah it's got a hole in hole in hole in

At the weekend you're shopping with your trolley it's sad

How you're rollin' rollin' rollin'Nan youre a window shopper

Taking a look but you never buy

Nan youre a window shopper

You won't pick it up if it's over a fiveNan youre a window shopper

Get on the bus coz you still can't drive

Nan youre a window shopper

Mad as f*** only just alive