No Fat Chicks

It’s your first day back to school

And you don’t seem to care

You gotta new winter wardrobe

And a huge bottle of Nair

You sneak out after class

To fill your cottage-cheese thighs

When you power another burger

And three more orders of fries

No fat chicks! No fat chicks!

There’s one baking in the sun

No fat chicks!

Turn her over. I think she’s done.

No fat chicks! No fat chicks! No fat chicks! Hut!

Why don’t you wake up

Before you make me throw up

Two (count ‘em) weeks til summer

But it may be just too late

You’ve gotta stop eating

Because you’re overweight. No fat chicks!

So you say you want, um, a surfer boyfriend

With muscles oh so big

But how you gonna pull that off

When you resemble a pig

No fat chicks!

It’s gettin’ a little old

No fat chicks!

Put your cellulate on hold

No fat chicks! No fat chicks! No fat chicks!

No fat chicks!

Waaa. The answer is clear.

Just don’t eat for a year

No fat chicks! No fat chicks!

Wow, that’s really big of you

No fat chicks! No fat chicks!

Fat chance baby, fat chance

No fat chicks! Wow, that’s tremendous

No fat chicks! Hey, could you do me a huge favor?

Uh… some of you dudes are a little hefty, too

Lyrics Submitted by Brian Gross