I got a job in Atlanta in a mall playing Santa
Not because of any talent but because
I was the only one the suit would fit
Everybody shopping, little sticky kids were
Hopping on my lap with their fingers in my beard
I guess, they thought that I was really it
She sat down on my lap and said to me
"I'm twenty three and I need someone
You look like someone who could
Play with me stay with me, all day with me"
'Cause I'm in no man's land
Can't seem to find a real man
You know, I'm lookin' for a steel man
She said, "I'm in no man's land"
I'm gonna show you a real good time
I'd gladly pay you double overtime
She was beggin' to be mine
But my job was on the line
Should I stay or should I go
Or I just didn't know?
I left fifty kids standin' in line
They were whining, they were crying
And their mothers they were screaming
In hysterics and I swear
I never heard such profanity
I dropped my suit on the floor
They were trying to block the door
They were calling her a whore
They were driven to nativital insanity
We drove away in her Mercedes Benz
Dirty blond split ends in the breeze
She said, "I want to put you under my tree
You're just a little gift from me to me"
'Cause I'm in no man's land
Can't seem to find a real man
You know, I'm lookin' for a steel man
She said, "I'm in no man's land"
You know, I'm ready for a real good time
I'd gladly pay you double overtime
She had money all her life
She wasn't lookin' to become my wife
She said, "I hope you understand,
I just want a night full of man, Sonny"
She didn't notice I was thin
With a delicate chin
Nor the softness of my skin
Nor the scent of my other personalities
She didn't see through my disguises
Didn't see it in my eyes
She was in for a surprise when
She discovered my emotional plurality
She said "Come and lay down on the floor with me
It's warmer here by the fire"
She didn't know that there was more of me
She'd have to learn to love all four of me
'Cause I'm in no man's land
I'm lookin' for the real me
If only I could feel me
You know, I'm in no man's land
Sometimes I gotta play me
It's really hard to stay me
Hey, I'm in no man's land
I'm looking for the real me
If only I could feel me
You know, I'm in no man's land
Sometimes I gotta play me
It's really hard to stay me
Oh, I'm in no man's land
I'm looking for the real me
If only I could feel me