Oh dear, what can the matter be?
I'm scaird tae go tae the lavat'ry.
I've no been since two weeks last Saturday.
I know who's hidin' in there!
My name's Shug McGlumpher and I live up this close.
I'll tell ye a story. I promise it's nae boast.
During the power cut, I saw a big ghost.
Naebody knows that he's there.
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
I'm scaird tae go tae the lavat'ry.
I've no been since two weeks last Saturday.
I know who's hidin' in there!
He'd two big red eyes. On his head was a dent, man;
Big hairy horns, and his neck was all bent, man.
My mammy says he sounds just like the rent man,
But I know who's hiding in there.
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
I'm scaird tae go tae the lavat'ry.
I've no been since two weeks last Saturday.
I know who's hidin' in there!
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Lyrics submitted by Tom Shepherd.