I work down at The Pizza Pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
Im five foot three and overweight
Im a sci: fi fanatic mild asthmatic
Never been to second base
But theres a whole nother me
That you need to see
Go check out MySpace
Cause online Im out in Hollywood
Im six foot five and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati
Im a black belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that Im mysterious
I tell em I dont want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat
With two women at one time
Im so much cooler online
Im so much cooler online
I get home I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my Mac
In real life the only time
Ive ever even been to L.A.
Was when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade But online I live in Malibu
I pose for Calvin Klein Ive been in GQ
Im single and Im rich
And I got a set of six-pack abs that would blow your mind
It turns girls on that Im mysterious
I tell em I dont want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat
With two women at one time Im so much cooler online
Yeah, Im cooler online
When youve got my kind of stats
Its hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot
and lose a bunch of weight
Every time I log in
Online Im out in Hollywood
Im six foot five and I look damn good
Even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat
With two women at one time
Im so much cooler online
Yeah, Im cooler online
Im so much cooler online
Yeah, Im cooler online