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Only Solitaire

Brain-storming, habit-forming, battle-warning weary

Winsome actor spewing, spineless chilling lines

The critics falling over to tell themselves, he's boring

And really not an awful lot of funWell, who the hell can he be when he's never had V.D.

And he doesn't even sit on toilet seats?

Court-jesting, never-resting, he must be very cunning

To assume an air of dignityAnd bless us all with his oratory prowess

His lame-brained antics and his jumping in the air

And every night, his acts the same

And so it must be all a game of chess, he's playingBut you're wrong, Steve

You see, it's only solitaire

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