Opening night, it's opening nightIt's Max Bialystock's latest show
Will it flop or will it go?
The cast is taking its final bow
Here comes the audience nowThe doors are open, they're on their way
Let's hear what they have to sayHe's done it again
He's done it again
Max Bialystock has done it againWe can't believe it
You can't conceive it
How'd he achieve it?
It's the worst show in townWe sat there sighing
Groaning and crying
There's no denying
It's the worst show in townOh, we wanted to stand up and hiss
We've seen shit, but never like thisMax Bialystock has done it again
The songs were rotten
The book was stinkin'
What he did to Shakespeare
Booth did to LincolnWe couldn't leave faster, what a disaster
We are still in shock
Who produced this schlock?
That slimy, sleazy Max BialystockWhat a bum!