Parents Just Don't Understand

Advisory - the following lyrics contain explicit language:

You know, parents are the same, no matter time nor place

They don't understand that us kids are gonna make some mistakes

So tell you other kids all across the land

There's no need to argue, parents just don't understandI remember one year, my mom took me school shoppin'

It was me, my brother, my mom, oh my pop

And my little sister all hopped in the car

We headed downtown to the Gallery Mall

My mom started buggin' with the clothes she chose

I didn't say nothin' at first, I just turned up my nose

She said, "What's wrong, the shirt costs twenty dollars"

I said, "Mom, this shirt is plaid, with a butterfly collar"The next half hour was the same old thing

My mother buyin' me clothes from 1963

And then she lost her mind and did the ultimate

I asked her for Adidas, and she bought me Zips!

I said, "Mom, what are you doin'? You'll ruin my rep"

She said, "You're only 16, you don't have a rep yet"

I said, "Mom, let's put these clothes back, please"

She said, "No, you go to school to learn, not for a fashion show"I said, "This isn't shinin' armor, c'mon mom, I'm not bousers

Mom, please put back the bell bottom, Brady Bunch trousers"

But if you don't want to I can live with that, but

You've gotta put back the double-knit, reversible slacksShe wasn't with it, everything stayed the same

Inevitably, the first day of school came

I thought I could get over, I tried to play sick

But my mom said, "No, no way, uh-uh, forget it"

There was nothin' I could do, I tried to relax

I got dressed up in those ancient artifacts

And when I walked in to school, it was just as I thought

The kids were crackin' up, laughin' at the clothes mom boughtAnd those who weren't laughin' still had a ball

'Cuz they were pointing and whistling as I walked down the hall

I got home and told my mom how my day went

She said, "If they were laughin' you don't need 'em

'Cuz they're not good friends"

For the next six hours I tried to explain to my mom

That I was gonna have to go to just about 200 more times

So tell you other kids all across the land

There's no need to argue, parents just don't understandOkay, here's the situation

My parents went away on a week's vacation

And, they left the keys to the brand new Porsche

Do they mind? Mmm, well, of course not!

I'll just take it for a little spin

And maybe show it off to a couple of friends

I'll just cruise it 'round the neighborhood

Well, maybe I shouldn't, yeah! Of course I should!Pay attention, here's the thick of the plot

I pulled up to the corner at the end of my block

And that's when I saw this beautiful girly-girl walkin'

I picked up my car phone to perpetrate like I was talkin'

You shoulda seen this girls bodily dimensions

I honked my horn, just to get her attention

She said, "Was that for me?" I said, "Yeah" She said, "Why?"

I said, "Come on and take a ride with a hell of a guy"She said, "How do I know you're not sick

You could be some deranged lunatic"

I said, "Come on, toots, my name is the Prince

Besides, would a lunatic have a Porsche like this?"

She agreed, and we were on our way

She was lookin' very good, so I was I, I must say, word!

We hit McDonalds, pulled up to the driveway

We ordered two Big Macs, and two large fries and CokesShe kicked her shoes off onto the floor

She said, "Drive fast, speed turns me on"

She put her hand on my knee, I put my foot on the gas

We almost got whiplash, we took off so fast

The sun roof was open, the music was high

And this girl's hand was thoroughly moving up my thigh

She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far

I guess that's why I didn't notice that police carWe're doin' ninety in my mom's new Porsche

And to make this long story short, short

When the cop pulled me over, I was scared as hell

I said, "I don't have a license, but I drive very well, officer"

I almost had a heart-attack that day

Come to find out the girl was a 12 year old runaway

I was arrested, the car was impounded

There was no way for me to avoid being groundedMy parents had to come off from vacation and get me

I'd rather be in jail, than to have my father hit me

My parents walked in and I got my grip

I said, "Uh mom, dad, how was your trip?"

They didn't speak, I said, "I wanna play my case"

But my father just shoved me in the car by my face

That was a hard ride home, I don't know how I survived it

They took turns, one would beat me while the other was drivin'I can't believe it! I just made a mistake

Well, parents are the same, no matter time nor place

So tell you other kids all across the land

Take it from me, parents just don't understand