At seven this morning I got on the phone
And said to hold my Bronc as long as you can
My car broke down in Billings and they just got it back together
I'll be photo finishing in to old Cheyenne
We'll here I am in Sheridan and its 9 o'clock
In the morning and times a-going fast
I just pulled her over, had some coffee and a donut
And I bought the car a brand new tank of gasWell, I don't know if I'm gonna make it
It's nine-fifteen, I'll be lucky if I ever get there
By god, now what's that I hear, is it a siren
Sure enough he got me on his radar
He pulled up behind me and turned on those flashing lights
A sign that I knew meant 'Pull Over'
So I stomped on my brakes and as I skidded to a halt
I wiped out three reflector posts along the shoulderHe got outta this car and was a-walkin' real slow
So I jumped out and met him half way
He jerked out his gun and said, "Mister are you crazy
I ain't never seen nobody drive that way"
I told him, "Take it easy" and he could put up that cannon
The way he shakin', it just might go off
He put up the gun as I explained my situation
He listened to my story then he coughedHe wrote me out a ticket, that seemed to take forever
I took it and as I headed for my car
That cop he hollered after me and said, "Hey, cowboy
You better slow down 'cause you can't outrun this radar"
As I rolled on down the road, I was a-cursin' and a-swearin'
About the ticket that I had just acquired
I wondered if I ought to pay it or throw it out the window
But I might just set the damn thing afireSo I gunned it once again and was a traveling down the road
With the gas pedal a mashed to the floor
When I came around a curve and right there in the highway
There's more damn sheep than I ever seen before
I'm going too fast to ever stop, so I just close my eyes
As the car rolls on through the herd
When I opened up my eyes again, there's a sheep on the fender
And that herd's sayin' some mighty awful wordsThe sweats a-drippin' off my hands as I barrel through old Wheatland
I'm a nervous wreck and I must be a sight
The flies inside this old car are buzzin' all around me
Guess my 24-hour deodorant quit last night
60, 50, 40, 30, 20 miles more the rodeo starts in another 18 minutes
I pull in through the main gate and I hear the anthem playing
I can't believe it, thank God, I finally made itThere's only one more obstacle that's standin' in my way
It's a nitwit with a weekend badge
He standin' by the gate and as I slide her to a halt
He says, "Where in the hell you goin' so dog gone fast"
I tell him I'm entered and I ain't got time to talk
My horse is in the chute and I'm late
He says I need to get a pass from the secretary
My eyes get red, my heart fills up with hateI yell, "You dirty so and so, you better let me through"
he asked if I'd repeat that once again
So I whacked him in the mouth and then I left him lyin' there
On his back a-kickin' in the sand
I got there just in time to see my Bronc come runnin' out
His head and tail was held way up high
I swear he looked right straight at me and grinned and gave horse laugh And me I just stood there and criedI turned around feelin' helpless and fairly dumbfounded
I looked and what did I see
3 highway patrolmen and a gateman with a fat lip
And they were all a-lookin' right at me
Sittin' in the cell now I've done a lot of thinkin'
About that wild run I made a month ago
I'm sorry that I'm in this rotten situation
If I could do it again I wouldn't have drove so slow
If I could do it again i wouldn't have drove so slow