Woke up this morning
Put on my slippers
Walked in the kitchen
And died
And oh, what a feeling!
When my soul
Went through the ceiling
And on up into heaven, I did ride
When I got there, they did say
"John, it happened this way
You slipped upon the floor
And hit your head"
And all the angels say
"Just before you passed away
That these were the very last words
That you said"
"Please don’t bury me
Down in that cold, cold ground
No, I’d rather have 'em cut me up
And pass me all around"
"Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they don’t mind the size"
"Give my stomach to Milwaukee
If they run out of beer
Put my socks in a cedar box
Just to get 'em out of here"
"Venus De Milo can have my arms
Look out! I've got your nose
Sell my heart to the junk man
And give my love to Rose"
"But please don’t bury me
Down in that cold, cold ground
I’d rather have 'em cut me up
And pass me all around"
"Throw my brain in a hurricane
The blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they don’t mind the size, oh man!"
"Give my feet to the footloose
Careless, fancy free
And give my knees to the needy
Don’t pull that stuff on me"
"Hand me down my walking cane
It’s a sin to tell a lie
Send my mouth way down south
And kiss my ass goodbye"
"But, please don’t bury me
Down in that cold, cold ground
I’d rather have 'em cut me up
And pass me all around"
"Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they don’t mind the size, that's right"