Pretoria
(by Josef Marais - new lyrics by Tom Smothers)
*NOTE: Also known as "Marching To Pretoria."
(DICK SPEAKING)
Hey Tommy, how about--how about, let's uh--let's do a sing-along?
I mean, everybody seems to be having a good time and they're a great audience and . . .
Why don't we just have everybody join together and unison and sing?
And you know what'd be a great sing--sing-along?
(TOM) Well--what, what would be a great sing-along Dickie Smothers, boy sibling?
(DICK) Thank you Batman!
(TOM) Heh! He, he, he!
(DICK) I think "Marching To Pretoria" would be a good sing-along.
And everybody could get up--everybody get up and we'll all march around the breakfast table.
Right?
(TOM) Nobody has any spoons.
(DICK) Spoons???
(DICK SINGING)
Oh we are marching to Pretoria, Pretoria, Pretoria
Oh we are marching to Pretoria, Pretoria today.
(TOGETHER)
Hey, we are marching to Pretoria, Pretoria, Pretoria
Oh we are marching to Pretoria, Pretoria today.
(TOM SPEAKING)
Friends, let's all join in now, and sing with my brother and myself as we sing "Marching To Pretoria."
It's gonna be a lot of fun. The words are simple. The words go . . .
"We are marching to Pretoria, Pretoria, Pretoria
We are marching to Pretoria, Pretoria today." --Hey!
(TOGETHER)
Oh we are marching to Pretoria, Pretoria, (Keep it rolling!) Pretoria
Oh we are marching to Pretoria, Pretoria today.
(TOM SPEAKING)
Wasn't that a lot of fun! Let's try to keep this enthusiasm going now as we . . .
Launch right into another group participation.
But this time, there'll be no singing involved.
This'll be a group participation . . . we want you to let your hair down and join and be one of the gang and this'll be a fun thing for ya!
Okay gang?
Nod your heads.
Here we go . . .
(SINGING)
Have another left with the old left hand and grab your partner . . . heh!
(DICK WHISPERING)
By the hand.
(TOM)
By the hand.
Makes a difference! --Have people grabbing--
(DICK) All right, c'mon.
(TOM) Actually, this is an exciting marching song entitled "Marching To Pretoria."
Pretoria happens to be the capital city . . . of the Union of South Africa.
Most marching songs are done in foreign countries like the--like uh, the last marching song I think we all fondly remember here in the United States was the exciting marching song "March Of The River Kwai'" from the Academy Am-ward winning movie "March Of The River Kwai.'"
We all remember that I'm sure. It sold SEVEN MILLION records--that marching song, but never once, could we ever join in and sing along with the March Of The River--you know, The Bridge Of The River Kwai . . .
Because . . . they never sang the words to that marching song--the always whistled--they whistled the words.
You remember that?
Yeah--they, you remember--they just always whistled the words . . . he. he, he!
(DICK) That's right Tommy.
(TOM People go out and say "Boy, I sure wish I could sing along but they always whistle the words" . . . he, he, he!
-The words were dirty.
Every time you have people whistling--you know they're whistling bad words! He, he!
Seeing little kids walking down the street--they start whistling--slap 'em down!
(DICK SINGING)
You sing with me, I'll sing with you
And we will sing together
And we will dance together
And we will sing together
You sing with me and I'll sing with you
We will dance and sing together
As we march along
(TOM) EVERYBODY SING!
(TOGETHER)
Oh we are marching to Pretoria, (Wowee!) Pretoria, Pretoria (Wow!)
We are marching to Pretoria--
(DICK) Take it . . .
(TOM) You deserve another chance.
(TOGETHER) Oh we are marching to Pretoria, Pretoria, Pretoria
(TOM) Take it . . .
(AUDIENCE SINGING)
We are marching to Pretoria, Pretoria today.
(DICK) Heeey . . . how about that?!
(TOM) You sound . . . really great!
(DICK) What'd they sound like Tommy?
(TOM) They sounded to me like a Norman Abersnackle Choir--they're singing' out!
(DICK) Alright Tommy, you take it.
(TOM SINGING)
You sleep with me, I'll sleep with you--
(DICK SPEAKING) Hey! Wait a minute!
(DICK SINGING) So we will march together, so we will march together, so we will march together
(TOM) You sleep with me, I'll sleep with you . . .
(DICK) Marching, marching, marching, marching, marching, marching, marching, marching
(TOGETHER) Ma-a-a-rching . . . Oh marching to Pretoria (toria), Pretoria (toria-a-a), Pretoria (Last chance to join in!)
(DICK) We are marching to Pre-toria, Pretoria today
(TOM) Marching, marching marching, marching, marching, marching, mar-ching . . .
(TOGETHER) Today . . . .
[APPLAUSE TO FADE]
---
Lyrics submitted by Doug Hoyer.