Qualifications

With my qualifications

With my qualifications

I could get me a job walking a dog

Chopping a log, cleaning a bogWith my qualifications

With my qualifications

I could see myself stacking a shelf

As a sales assistant at do-it-yourselfWith my qualifications

With my qualificationsAnd my brother worked night and day

At the Eurostar Terminal

And the government gave it awaySo what's the point in University?

For three years, I read philosophy

Now I read bar codes all day long

Beep, beep, beep sings that check-out songWith my qualifications

Talking 'bout my qualificationsWould you like to see my Ph.D.?

My BSE? My GCSE?

I gotta first in physics so I ought to know

If your fries are for here or to go