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School Mam

A fine day for the classroom and the pupils are here

Julie's got a headache but the others don't care

Sarah's got to stay behind and help with the drill

Teacher's got his eye on her

Moves in for the kill.

Nobody can see or hear the things that they do

All the books stay closed, there must be something they do

Only teacher knows about the subjects they span - span

Education's secondary, being a school mam

Oooooeeee!

Teachers doing fine as far as I can see

Being a school mam

Long holidays in the summer

Being a school mam

Free milk in your coffee break

Being a school mam

Government paid monthly salary checks

Noises heard the principal investigates

She turns on all the cameras but it's too late

Catches both their pants down in a passion war

Hasn't seen it happen since the day she was born

Reaching down for glasses that just can't be found

By the time she finds them, why their down on the ground

Tossing and a turning they've got feverish hands

Lead can be so fluid when you're being a school mam

Oooooeeee!

Teachers doing fine as far as I can see

Being a school mam

Controlling promiscuity after hours

Being a school mam

Giving out detentions by the dozen

Being a school mam

Give her fifty lines (of speed)

Being a school mam

Sucking on her fingernails she can't believe what she's seeing

She's seeing something close to what appears on the screen

Locks her door, with trembling hands and her hearts beating very fast

She pretends she's down there on the floor in the class

Gives herself to teacher although he doesn't know

Works herself into a frenzied state and it shows

Sarah's almost at the top but try as she can

She can't reach her helter skelter

Down with the school man

Just watch her go and help her try if you can

Use your twentieth century imagination - if you've got any

Oooooeeee!

Now she's at the top and teacher sets her free

Being a school mam

Disgusting behavior

Being a school mam

All over the parquet flooring

Being a school mam

Letting the flood gates open wide

Being a school mam

Now the principal collapses dead on the floor

With contentment on her wrinkled old face ever more

She went out the very best way that an old woman can

She was where the action was

Down there with the school man

Oooooeeee!

Teacher never will discover who could see

Being a school mam

One and one make two if you're very lucky

Being a school mam

Two twos make four if I remember correctly

Being a school mam

Four fours make sixteen and sixteen's over age

Sixteen and sixteen makes thirty two

That's approaching middle age

Thirty two and thirty two makes sixty four

That's OAP land

Sixty four and sixty four makes a hundred and twenty eight

A hundred and twenty eight divided by three

Let me pause for reflection for a second

But teacher!

Three doesn't go into a hundred and twenty eight exactly,

But it goes forty two and a bit

Forty three, forty four, forty five, forty six, forty seven

Forty eight, forty nine,

Forty nine, point one, forty nine, point two, forty nine, point three

Forty nine, point four,

Forty nine, point five, forty nine, point six, forty nine, point seven

Forty nine, point eight,

Forty nine, point nine,

Forty nine, point nine,

Forty nine, point nine,

Forty nine, point nine,

Forty nine, point nine,

Forty nine, point nine,

Forty nine, point nine,

Forty nine, point nine,

Forty nine, point nine,

Fifty!

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written by CORNWELL, HUGH ALAN / GREENFIELD, DAVID / DUFFY, BRIAN JOHN / BURNEL, JEAN JACQUES

Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

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