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Secondary Waltz

The school Christmas party is coming

We ain't doing rugby no more

McIntyres teaching us waltzing

Out on the gymnasium floor

Out on the gymnasium floorMcIntyres out of the army

Youll be slippered if you get it one

McIntyre's dim, looms loud in the gym

Well, we've only got our little shorts on

We've only got our little shorts onAnd it's 1, 2, 3, 2, 2, were all a disgrace

McIntyre tore us apart

And we danced with ourselves

When wed all find a space

Waltzing with fear in our hearts

Waltzing with fear in our heartsComes the day of the big final manoeuvres

All of our heads are a whirl

Its getting much closer to D day

This time we're gonna do it with girls

This time we're gonna do it with girlsIn the arena the ladies were waiting

A twelve year old partner to guide

Some matches were fixed, the rest of us mixed

And a fat girl got left at the side

A fat girl got left at the sideAnd it's 1, 2, 3, 2, 2, were all a disgrace

McIntyre tore us apart

And we danced with ourselves

When wed all find a space

Waltzing with fear in our hearts

Waltzing with fear in our heartsWhen you come to my face

And I am under the lights

And you see that my footwork is false

Don't count me out at the start of the bow

I'm just doing the secondary waltz

Doing the secondary waltz

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