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Self Suicide

I'm gonna lie on my back

An' you put your fingers down my mouth, right

No, no, do it right, like, augh ugh

I'm gonna do a Jimi Hendrix, eugh

I'm gonna be sick in my sleep, eugh, augh ahu ughI tries to do it proper but it kept comin' up a cropper

I needs some hype, I think I'll ram raid happy shopper

Haven't got a car so I use a space hopper

Bouncin' to the window, cut my head, show stopperI want a hundred fans, 200 teeny boppers

I want police protection from 87 coppers

I wanna go gold, even better platinum

If you wanna be a star you gotta kill yourself, manIt's the truth, step back, take a look around

Elvis is dead for bein' fat, 500 pound

Kurt Cobain's rich as fuck, he's buried in the ground

Jimi Hendrix an' his amp still ain't makin' no soundMichael Hutchence, he's one of 'em too

Made a hundred million quid dying wanking on the loo

S.U.I.C.I.D.E.

It might be messy but it's money for freeSuicide is painless or so it has been said

I could've killed myself but I'd be better off dead

So I took a deep breath, put a gun against my head

Pulled the trigger, click, should've been eatin' leadBut I wasn't, I was naked in John Frost Square

Mothers on pushchairs stopped an' stared

For this situation I was quite unprepared

Tried suicide to be famous but nobody caredCommittin' suicide to enhance my career

It worked for Mickey an' Tupac Shakir

Jesus was nailed up to some wood

2000 years later an' book sales are still goodI heard in a song suicide is painless

An' it's 80 percent sure to make you famous

Wankin' with a bag on yer head, tied to a door

That bloke from INXS, he knew the scoreS.U.I.C.I.D.E.

It might be messy but it's money for free

S.U.I.C.I.D.E.

It might be messy but it's money for freeI gotta kill myself, I gotta do's it quick

John Entwistle sly, he was snortin' arsenic

I keep takin' all this coke to make me die

Doin' more drugs than they make in fuckin' ICIIt's the best way to go, don't think me dull

I'm not gonna fall off the roof like the flid Rod Hull

We want people to sing all our songs

And the nuns at St. Joseph's rappin' on smokin' bongsWe wanna be remembered when we're six feet under

For hip hoppin' not robbings, fuckin' beatings or plunder

At the moment I'm not dead like David Kampasey

Double platinum means you gotta be pushin' up daisiesDad's army's all dead, every last one

But the cunts is still goin' on BBC1

Yeah, that's right, I smoke draw from Wales

Suicide's a good idea to improve vinyl salesIt's useless, it's crap, I'll never be in the sun

How can I be a pop star when I can't buy a gun?

Jimmy Morrison overdosed in the bath

I know, I'll hang myself with my scarfTied to the stairs, danglin' by my neck

The cord length I forgot to check

Stuck there for a week, unable to shriek

The landlord found me an' he called me a freakHe cut me down an' started to laugh

"If you're dead next week gimme your autograph"

You know I thanked him, returned to my room

The new plan is to go out with a boomTo the station, with a petrol can

"Five pound please", I say to the man

All set up an' ready to burn

The wheel on my lighter just won't turnSuicide is a suicyclebbl

Suicide is a suicyclebbl

Suicide is a suicyclebbl

I wanna be famous after I dieProven fact, man, if you're dead you sell more

That drummer from Def Leppard

His arm has made 30 times more than he hasYou know that our Elvis? Well, he's dead famous now

And he's dead and he's face, he's more famous now like

He's dead like you know, I, I suppose what a lot like

Fuckin' simple economicsThey reckon Bob Marley's dead

But he's not, man

'Coz he was on the TV last night, man

Just don't lie to me, manI thought I was havin' a go at an overdose

But I, I, I don't think you can overdose on Beecham's Flu Plus

I think one of the blokes off of Dad's army is still alive

I think he's bummin' Martin in Eastenders, innit?I'll get the ropes an' we'll tie them to the walls

An' we all jump off at the same time an' break our necks

An' we'll make at least 13 quid an' you knows we'll be famous

like fuckin' Gandhi or, or like the bloke off that sex film we seen

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