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She Got the Goldmine (I Got the Shaft)

Advisory - the following lyrics contain explicit language:

Well, I guess it was back in sixty-three

When eating my cooking got the better of me

So asked this little girl I was going with to be my wife

Well, she said she would, so, I said, "I do"

But I'd have said I wouldn't If I'd of just knew

How sayin' 'I do' would gonna screw up all of my lifeWell, the first few years weren't all that bad

I'll never forget the good times we had

'Cause I'm reminded every month when I send her the child support

Well, it wasn't too long 'til the lust all died

And I'll admit I wasn't too surprised

The day I come home and found my suitcase sittin' out on the porchWell, I tried to get in, she changed the locks

Then I found this note taped on the mailbox that said

"Goodbye, Turkey, my attorney will be in touch"

So, I decided right then and there

I was gonna do what's right, give her fair share

But, brother, I didn't know her share was gonna be that muchShe got the gold mine, I got the shaft

They split it right down the middle

And then they give her the better half

Well, it all sounds sort of funny

But it hurts too much to laugh

She got the gold mine, I got the shaftNow, listen, you ain't heard nothin' yet

Why, they gave her the color television set

Then they give her the house, the kids and both of the cars

See, then they start talking about child support

Alimony, and the cost of the court

Didn't take me long to figure out how far in the toilet I wasI'm telling you they have made a mistake

'Cause it adds up to more than this cowboy makes

Besides, everything I ever had worth taking they've already took

While she's living like a Queen on alimony

I'm working two shifts, eatin' balogna

Askin' myself, "Why didn't you just learn how to cook?"They gave her the gold mine, they give me the shaft

They say they're splittin' it all down the middle

But she got the better half

Well, it all sounds mighty funny

But it hurts too much to laugh

She got the gold mine, I got the shaftYeah, she got the gold mine, I got the shaft

They split it all down the middle

And then they give her the better half

Well, I guess, it all sounds sort of funny

But it hurts too much to laugh

She got the gold mine, I got the shaftYou ain't kiddin', I got the shaft

Well, I don't have to worry about toting a billfold no more

I'll let my wife tote it

I'm gonna be carryin' food stamps, you get it, Judge?

I'm gonna be indebted

That's not funny, huh?

Contempt of court? What do you mean

[Incomprehensible]

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