Ground floor Shoppers' Paradise
Habit dashery, needles, spoons and knives
Knuckle dusters, glass jaws and wooden heartsSpend your money girls, on sprays and lipsticks
Tested on bunnies, girls, strays and misfits
Ozone friendly rape alarms, for those blinding dates
Another summer of hateIt's the top shop for the tired and rundown
Going up for the final comedown
First and second floors, third and fourth world warsWe've got a free pair of flares with every hip replacement
Just take the stairs to the bargain basement
Babies bottles full of a milk, of human kindIts ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls
The big shop is open, it's a wonderful worldTop floor Shoppers' Paradise
We've got a drunk Father Christmas and the Anti-Christ
It's nothing of value, there's no V.A.T.We're going a shopping [Incomprehensible]
We take Visa, Access, American Express
Patched up, hand me down, second to next best
Clothes for all ages, mothers and babiesLadies and gentlemen, boys and girls
The big shop is open, it's a wonderful worldLadies and gentlemen, boys and girls
The big shop is open, it's a wonderful worldGoing down for all the things you missed
All the love, peace and happiness that don't exist
We've got encyclopaedia's, we've got pic 'n' fix
We got a government freezer full of benefitsA children's assortment, we're bigger than Hamley's
Cabbage patch orphans from Sylvanian families
Carpets, linoleum, holy petroleum
Kamikaze killers, little Hitlers and NapoleonsLadies and gentlemen, boys and girls
The big shop is open and the world is wonderful
Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful