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Shores Of California

Hes been trying with limited success

To get this girl to let him get into her dress

But every time he thinks hes getting close

She threatens death before he gets a chanceAnd thats the way is in Minnesota

Thats the way is in Oklahoma

Thats the way its been since protozoa

First climbed onto the shores of CaliforniaAnd shes been trying with limited success

To get him to turn out the lights and dance

'Cause like any girl all she really wants

Is that fickle little bitch romance, that fickle little bitch romanceAnd that is why the girl is called a tease

And that is why the guy is called a sleaze

And thats why God made escort agencies

One life to live and mace and GHBAnd thats the way it is in Minnesota

Thats the way it is in Oklahoma, homa

Thats the way since the animals and Noah

First climbed onto shores of CaliforniaMust not be too kind

Stop thinking love is blind

Clench your fists, yeah, right

She's just not my typeWhy all these conflicting specifications

Maybe to prevent overpopulation

All I know, is that all around the nation

The girls are cryin and the boys are masturbatin

The girls are cryin and the boys are masturbatinAnd thats the way it is in Minnesota

Thats the way it is in Oklahoma, homa

The way since Aristophanes and homer

Wrote the Iliad and LysistrataThats the way it is in Minnesota

Thats the way it is in Oklahoma, homa

Thats the way since the ancient protozoa

First climbed onto the shores of California

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